Unfortunately, there are many myths concerning the grieving process that many take as absolute truths. These myths can make it difficult and frustrating for those of us who happen to be grieving. It can be detrimental to our well-being by hearing these untruths or even believing them to be true. You need to remember that the grieving process is different for everyone, and we all have to process our grief in our own way. There is no cookie cutter pattern for what we are going through, and there is no right or wrong way to go through this process. Unfortunately, we will all have to take this journey one day, and we have to know that it is our journey, no one else’s, to take.
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Everyone has to go through the five stages of grief to properly cope. Many people have heard the myth that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They believe that you have to go through all five stages before you can completely deal with all your emotions. However, there is no preset formula for your grief. You may or may not go through each and every stage. Remember everyone grieves differently, and there is no specified way to grieve. You may or may not visit all the stages listed, but you could still complete the grieving process.
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There is a time limit for the grieving process. There are some people out there that believe that the grieving process takes place during a certain time limit, and once the time is up, you are all better and can one on with your life. However, this belief can cause many people a lot of harm. People may even say to the grieving that it has been so long, are you not over it yet? This can seem hurtful and unreal to people dealing with a loss of a loved one; please do not ever do this. The grieving process is continuous for many. Remember people do not grieve the same, and the process will last longer for some people than others.
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Grief only affects us psychologically. When someone is dealing with the effects of a loss, it is easy to see how it wounds them emotionally. However, this is not the only way grief can affect us. Many people may suffer mentally and physically. Common physical symptoms associated with grief can include fatigue, body pains, loss of appetite, upset stomach, etc. Unfortunately, grief has the ability to affect far more than just emotionally. If you know someone suffering from any of these symptoms, please check on them and try to support them as best as you can through their grieving process.
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Grief only occurs after a death. This is not true. We grieve for many different reasons, not just a death. We may grieve after a divorce, losing a job or any type of major life change. You could even grieve growing older and losing your youth. There is no one set reason for grief, and grief can come in many ways. It is important to be able to recognize these other types of grief and how to be there for someone who may be experiencing this type of grief. It is easy to recognize the grief of someone losing a loved one, but it can be much harder to recognize someone grieving for other reasons. Remember these people will still need a support system, and they may not reach out for help.
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Your life will eventually get back to normal. Many people think that they will go through the grieving process and then boom they will be fine again. Everything will be as it was before. Unfortunately, most of us will find that we will never totally get over the person we lost. Time may make it easier for us to cope, but it may never completely go away. The grief of their loss may never really leave you, but somehow you will manage to function again. However, it is not the same as before, but at least you can learn to live differently than you were before.
It can be harmful to harbor these false myths about grieving. It can have some pretty serious and detrimental effects on our well-being to think we have to stick with these untruths. The most important thing to remember is that we all deal with grief in our own ways, and we have to work through it as best as we can. No one else will know what you are dealing with except you, and you will have to eventually determine for yourself the best way to work through these emotions. It can be a difficult and frustrating time for many, but please do not rush yourself through this process or believe any of the myths people try to tell you about dealing with the grieving process.