The Cold Hard Facts About Grief

Grief is different for everyone. Its effects will be interpreted and felt differently for everyone involved, and, unfortunately, most of us will have to experience our own journey of grief one day. While there may be some differences in our journey, you may find solace with others who have had a similar journey with grief. It is possible to benefit from some piece of advice our friends and family may give us, or we could find their “helpful” advice absolutely useless in helping us through the grieving process. It all depends on our unique journey and what we need at a particular time in our journey. Here are just a few things you may want to know about grief that may help you be a little more prepared in completing your journey through this emotional process.

• You can prepare for death as much as you like, but you will never be totally prepared for the feelings such as grief and loss that will come with it.
  
  

• Death has a way of obliterating all of your plans, no matter how much detail, time, and effort you force into those plans.
  
  

• Not all deaths are peaceful and serene, and it will not matter how much you plan for it to be this way.
  
  

• Unfortunately, you will find that some people will almost immediately start pressuring you to move on and get over your grief. Of course, you should know that this is not an appropriate way to deal with your grief, and in your best interest, you should follow your gut and ignore their advice.
  
  

• Dealing with a death can be hectic and fast. It may seem as if you do not have time to catch your breath. However, if you begin to feel overwhelmed, you must find the time to take a moment and allow yourself to get recentered. 

• Unfortunately, death and grief will make some people uncomfortable. These feelings and situations will ultimately lead to awkward moments, so please be prepared for them.
  
  

• Do not be afraid to accept the help of others. If someone offers you support, it is typically in your best interest to accept their offer and do not be afraid to reach out to someone if you feel as if you may need help coping with your feelings.
  
  

• People will like to give you advice and tell you things that are not true about your grieving process. Just because they went through it before, does not mean you will go through it too. Remember everyone’s journey will be different.
  
  

• People will say the wrong things. They may even say hurtful or ignorant comments without even realizing what they have said. Try to forgive them and move on. This type of attitude may help you through your journey.
  
  

• Death can bring out not only the best in families, but it can also bring out the worst. Try to stay prepared for whatever may come your way.
  
  

• Feeling anger or guilt is extremely common with grief. You may even think that you are crazy when you are faced with grief. You are not. It is just another hurdle you must overcome in your journey.
  
  

• Grief can and will make you question every aspect of your life. There can be growth and despair in this step, so please try to go easy on yourself and reach out to others if you ever feel too much.
  
  

• There is no specific timeline associated with grief. You cannot rush through this process, and, unfortunately, a majority of us will find that in some form or another we will grieve forever.
  
  

• You will start to see grief triggers everywhere. All of those little things or places that you use to enjoy may now lead to sudden bursts of emotions.
  
  

• People will have all kinds of notions on how you should or should not feel and how you should or should not grieve. Some of them may even judge your every move, and you should leave these types of people behind in order to successfully complete your journey.
  
  

• You may never become who you once were. Sometimes grief can completely change you from the person you were. But, hopefully, through strength and perseverance, you will be.
  
  

The grieving process can be a long and hard journey that we all have to face at one time or another. Always remember the love you had for the person you lost. Nothing will ever take those memories or that love away. One day, you will find yourself enjoying life once more. If you have to go through the grieving process, remember you must to do it in your own way and in your own time. However, if someone is there along the way trying to offer you a shoulder to cry on or a hand up, do not be afraid to accept their help.